My Time is Running Out

Everything...feels blank.

You know what I mean? Nothingness.

I feel like everything around me, the colours, musics, everything... feels blank.
You wanna know why? I'm moving in around two weeks... And I feel like there's a supermassive black hole in my heart. A gigantic black hole that sucks everything in my life.

And now... I feel empty. Very, very empty. It's like the life has been sucked out of me. Right now, everything looks black and white for me.

Empty...

I really don't know what to post other than this...

...You know? I love God. I believe in Him. But... I'm very sorry...

I just don't trust Him...

Yes. I am a really big sinner. I know.

I guess that's why she (the special girl) won't like me. I guess that's why nobody can help me now. I guess that's why I will leave this city. My life. My love.

I never asked for this kind of life. I never asked for it. I only asked God, "Please let me have a normal life, a good family, and good friends that will last forever."

But... I guess God doesn't care about my prayers. I guess He only cares about His future plans, the so-called "Happy Future".

That's why I feel really... empty. I...just feel nothing. There are to much pain to feel love. There are too much pressure to feel pain.

...Time is running out.
I have to act.

There is a possibility that this post is one of my last posts.
Thank you for reading